There was much in psychoanalytic theory on which Winnicott could draw for his concept of the false self. But while such a pathological false self stifled the spontaneous gestures of the true self in favour of a lifeless imitation, Winnicott nevertheless considered it of vital importance in preventing something worse: the annihilating experience of the exploitation of the hidden true self itself. The danger was particularly acute where the baby had to provide attunement for the mother/parents, rather than vice versa, building up a sort of dissociated recognition of the object on an impersonal, not personal and spontaneous basis. The danger he saw was that 'through this false self, the infant builds up a false set of relationships, and by means of introjections even attains a show of being real', while, in fact, merely concealing a barren emptiness behind an independent-seeming façade.

The result for Winnicott could be the creation of what he called the false self, where 'Other people's expectations can become of overriding importance, overlaying or contradicting the original sense of self, the one connected to the very roots of one's being'. However, when what Winnicott was careful to describe as good enough parenting – i.e., not necessarily perfect – was not in place, the infant's spontaneity was in danger of being encroached on by the need for compliance with the parents' wishes/expectations.

The baby's spontaneous, nonverbal gestures derive from that instinctual sense, and if responded to by the parents, become the basis for the continuing development of the true self.

Out of this, the baby creates the experience of a sense of reality, a sense that life is worth living. Winnicott saw the true self as rooted from early infancy in the experience of being alive, including blood pumping and lungs breathing – what Winnicott called simply being.

I am a shadow the true self